Tell me the plain truth

edited December 1969 in Personal Issues
Do I deserve to be rejected or non loved and pursued because I have problems socialising?

how will someone ever fall in love with me?
I know how to fix the problem but it will be sinful.. watching everything and anything
I DON'T feel comfortable doing that
?
if I have problems socialisng does that mean I am a robot? what sets me apart from other people?
Even if someone was to marry me would they love me? would I love them if they loved me based on nothing?
Thanks

Comments

  • I watched a tv show and the girl was asked what do you look for in a man and she said that he overtalks me
  • [quote author=coptic legend link=topic=12692.msg149081#msg149081 date=1323943010]
    Do I deserve to be rejected or non loved and pursued because I have problems socialising?

    how will someone ever fall in love with me?
    I know how to fix the problem but it will be sinful.. watching everything and anything
    I DON'T feel comfortable doing that
    ?
    if I have problems socialisng does that mean I am a robot? what sets me apart from other people?
    Even if someone was to marry me would they love me? would I love them if they loved me based on nothing?
    Thanks


    I have the same problem. I often lament because I feel as if people do not like me because I am so different. It is a cross. The great thing is it brings us closer to God.
  • It is painful

    I can forsee that if I watch all stuff and talk too much I could be annoying or atleast they will say I am annoying.. even when I try new things it becomes socially unacceptable and I can not find my peace
  • But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33
  • How, will I magically be able to talk? I want to have power over myself, to choose when I want to talk and when not to. I know when I am spiritual many people praise me but do they like being with me? can I do anything with them or do they or I have to run away quickly?

    I was making this reply just to say if things don't get better I am blaming you
    jk

  • [quote author=coptic legend link=topic=12692.msg149086#msg149086 date=1323945367]
    How, will I magically be able to talk? I want to have power over myself, to choose when I want to talk and when not to. I know when I am spiritual many people praise me but do they like being with me? can I do anything with them or do they or I have to run away quickly?

    I was making this reply just to say if things don't get better I am blaming you
    jk


    I guess I am not sure what you are getting at.
  • lol I am talking to qawe
  • [quote author=coptic legend link=topic=12692.msg149088#msg149088 date=1323945875]
    lol I am talking to qawe


    Whoops.
  • [quote author=coptic legend link=topic=12692.msg149086#msg149086 date=1323945367]
    How, will I magically be able to talk? I want to have power over myself, to choose when I want to talk and when not to. I know when I am spiritual many people praise me but do they like being with me? can I do anything with them or do they or I have to run away quickly?

    I was making this reply just to say if things don't get better I am blaming you
    jk


    You're not the only one to ask this question - here is what some others have discovered.

    [quote=Exodus 4:10-12]Then Moses said to the LORD, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue.”
    So the LORD said to him, “Who has made man’s mouth? Or who makes the mute, the deaf, the seeing, or the blind? Have not I, the LORD? Now therefore, go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall say.”

    [quote=Isaiah 6:1-9]Isaiah 6

    Isaiah Called to Be a Prophet

    1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. 2 Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one cried to another and said:

          “ Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts;
          The whole earth is full of His glory!”
    4 And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.
    5 So I said:


          “ Woe is me, for I am undone!
          Because I am a man of unclean lips,
          And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
          For my eyes have seen the King,
          The LORD of hosts.”

    6 Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. 7 And he touched my mouth with it, and said:


          “ Behold, this has touched your lips;
          Your iniquity is taken away,
          And your sin purged.”

    8 Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:


          “ Whom shall I send,
          And who will go for Us?”

    Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.”
    9 And He said, “Go, and tell this people
  • for all thats holy I don't think moses is too related to me because God solved his problem and found him worthy of blessing.
  • [quote author=coptic legend link=topic=12692.msg149091#msg149091 date=1323949018]
    for all thats holy I don't think moses is too related to me because God solved his problem and found him worthy of blessing.



    You seem to think that Moses was "worthy." Why was this murderer worthy? Did he not, before leaving Egypt, kill a fellow Egyptian? What made him ready was his withdrawal from the business of the palace in the wilderness of Midian having been humbled from his rank of Noble to that of a mere shepherd. It was this humbling experience which caused Moses to be ready of the divine Grace of speech. But lets not forget that it was Aaron who spoke on behalf of Moses!

    So, YES, compare yourself to Moses and learn the most important lesson. Before God makes you, you can be sure that he will break you. Had Moses not acknowledged his inability to speak before the Lord, he would have gone to Pharaoh and look like a fool. So, you should acknowledge your problem, and withdraw from people. Then, as you so sarcastically put it, God will give you the spirit of Love and Truth in there fullness so as to speak the truth in eloquence.

    Don't deny the work of God for our weakness, and do not look at you problem as being bigger than it really is. Your problem is solvable, if only you work for it, and ask Our Master to give it to you.

    ReturnOrthodoxy
  • so if I do not get better and still not able to talk it is because I have not prayed enough or passed enough tests or done the right thing?
  • What year/grade are you? I was very much like this in high school. But when you go off to college, especially if you are far from home, you will end up having to socialize, with the church community, with your roommate, etc. Just make an effort to go out and not stay by yourself all the time. Also I would recommend a college in the south - in my experience, they tend to be very hospitable
  • dear coptic legend,
    quite a few of us have had social problems, including ioannes and me.
    ioannes is a successful writer and i also am able to work. we are both married.
    so having social problems does not mean you will not be successful.
    there are many different sorts of social problems, so we can't give you much specific advice without knowing more about the problem. but if you want to tell any details, it is better to send a personal message to someone (you can do this on this forum) or to talk to your priest or doctor, which is even better as they know you personally.
    it is not good to go into too much personal detail here, as all the messages on here can be read by anyone who uses the internet (it is a 'public forum'). and even though most of us don't use our real names, people may guess who we are from our church or other details.

    return orthodoxy and love is divine have written good advice too (as they often do).
    it was really through being close to God that eventually learned how to deal with my social problem.
    some dear people in the church helped too, especially my God parents.
    there are certainly NOT any sinful ways that will fix your problem. people who engage in multiple romantic relationships to make themselves feel better will always feel worse in the end, as this does not get rid of the problem, it just numbs it a bit (the same as drugs and alcohol). all these approaches make the problem worse in the end.
    the only thing that works is being close to God. there are no instant solutions.
    stay close to God, pray, take Holy Communion (if you are Christian, i suppose you are because you are posting here) read the Bible and ask God to help you love other people like how He loves them.
    may God guide you and keep in touch with us here as we know it can be hard and we pray for you.
  • [quote author=coptic legend link=topic=12692.msg149093#msg149093 date=1323954003]
    so if I do not get better and still not able to talk it is because I have not prayed enough or passed enough tests or done the right thing?


    [quote author=coptic legend link=topic=12692.msg149091#msg149091 date=1323949018]
    for all thats holy I don't think moses is too related to me because God solved his problem and found him worthy of blessing.



    That's an interesting thought, one of the great fathers of the Church St. Athanasius said that we when read the Bible we must read it as if the stories in it relate to us and what the story could mean if I were in the shoes of Moses or Isaiah.  This is because we live in a special time when each of us can know the Lord like the prophets knew Him.

    [quote=Jeremiah 31:31-34]
    31 “Behold, the days are coming, says the LORD, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah— 32 not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them,[a] says the LORD. 33 But this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, says the LORD: I will put My law in their minds, and write it on their hearts; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 34 No more shall every man teach his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they all shall know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them, says the LORD. For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.”

    You know the story of Esau selling his birth right?  He came in from the fields and was famished to the point where he thought he was going to die and Jacob used this as an opportunity to steal away his birth right in exchange for food.  He was a materialistic person who lived by his strength and ability to kill animals in the field.  In his view of the world there was no space for God to operate but God performed so many miracles to sustain the blessing including working through some of the most base people like prostitutes.

    Both of these stories which I quoted came from the start of their calling from God and I think you miss the most important point of both.  We shouldn't be looking to ourselves, our experience and our strength we should be drawing these things from God by believing in Him; He said to us what father would give a scorpion to a child rather than an egg if they needed food? Even earthly fathers know how to give good things to their children and He goes on to say - how much more kinder is our Heavenly Father and more generous with the things which He gives us?

    Believe me when I tell you that the life which Christ has instituted in the Church makes us worthy.  Being holy is not something we do, its something God does in us when we partake of the sacraments like Baptism, Christmation, Repentance and Communion.  This is what happened to Isaiah when the coal touched his lip and he went from being torn by his conscience to feeling full of energy and confidence, the coal is a symbol of Holy Communion.  Where Isaiah is cured by a symbol, we have the genuine, bona fide real thing!

    The main illustration in the Bible of God's love for us is the love of a husband and his bride (which represents the Church).  If God is the maker of the male and female relationship which He modelled after His love for the Church then He must be able to teach this to us, right?  There is a whole book of the bible written about God's love for the Church in this way called the Song of Songs.  This is like what He was trying to tell Moses when Moses was afraid to speak to Pharaoh, if God made the tongue in the first place then He can certainly teach us how to use it.

    If God helped a sinner like the right hand thief enter paradise protected by the blazing Cherubim, I am certain He can help you with something much much smaller like building your confidence

    Please pray for me,

    LiD
  • [quote author=coptic legend link=topic=12692.msg149086#msg149086 date=1323945367]
    How, will I magically be able to talk? I want to have power over myself, to choose when I want to talk and when not to. I know when I am spiritual many people praise me but do they like being with me? can I do anything with them or do they or I have to run away quickly?

    I was making this reply just to say if things don't get better I am blaming you
    jk


    i just thought that verse was relevant
    but definitely talk to a priest/doctor
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