I am wondering with Catholics having the ability to divorce, if anyone here thinks Pope Tawadros will ever make it possible in order to divorce but not lose your entire family as a result?
Taking into consideration the length of marriage, the despair and types of fighting that go on, and frankly, humanism. I understand it says it in both old and new testament but this is a new era, a new time, a sad time, but a time nonetheless, and I dont see why the coptic culture condemns and judges when that is God's job. Someone, please guide me in better understanding.
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God who is love and who loves us can always give us more love
Let the wife pray to love her husband with the true love from God as the Church loves Christ and let the husband pray to love his wife with the true love from God as Christ loves the Church
Is there no understanding? Pray for understanding
Is there no respect? Pray for respect
Is there no romantic feelings? Pray
And let anyone who are lost in their selfishness desipte being married - let them hear the scriptures and the wise saints sayings and pray with them
When we marry we are supposed to be united in everything we are bond together as one flesh we become a living symbol of Christ and the Church and the family becomes a small church.
Divorce by any wrong reason is an harmful thing its like ripping out your heart just because you dont like it so much anymore
I know the effects of divorce quite well, i live in a mainly atheistic society where almost everyone gets a divorce or many divorces. The married couples gets bored by eachother and quarrel over small meaningless things because they dont have a space for God in their life. And its the same with many of the christians here they get married and they try to be married without having God as Lord in their marriage and in their whole life, they try to love eachother without praying for the loving eyes to see the true beauty and brillance and wonder of their spouse, they attempt to lean on their own strenght and understanding instead of God. They are caught in a sick time and a sick society. We have to help them by letting them know how to truly love. By giving the good example by our lives
I hope the Coptic Church will never be in this harmful situation where anyone can get a divorce just because they "dont have the feelings any more" God who gave us everything is the one who gives us ability to feel and ability to love, just ask Him and believe in his power. He will give a loving heart full of love for everyone to anyone who wants one and asks Him.
If someone is not able to love their husband or wife how are they supposed to be christian in anything? How are they supposed to love anyone in a selfless way? How are they supposed to have sacrificial love for anyone? Love is something you always work on, pray and work on. You notice any selfish thought or action? Pray for forgiveness and help and work on it. Love by feelings, by actions, by sacrifice by your mind and thoughts and always seek to become more loving. Love is not to accept everyone unchanged its about accepting their human nature and help them by prayer and actions and words to always have a more godly nature, and even if someone is married to someone who is like a stone and wont change in anyway, let them not give up, let them be patient and God can change the hardest heart. We are supposed to be like our Lord not like the world which is lost. If you follow the thinking of these times it will lead you to your grave.
God is our Saviour, our Creator, our Guide our Lord and he is to be glorfied by the marriage his love and power is supposed to be shining out of the marriage! The husband is supposed to be lifted up by his wife and the wife by her husband, they are supposed to love eachother to the point of death and they are supposed to always care more for the other one.
Marriage is not only about being inlove and liking eachother its about always seeking to bring the other one closer to God and to become their full potential.
Marriage is Sacred and Beautiful and Holy.
I do not mean a petty fight causing a divorce. People fight and I absolutely agree that people should not divorce because the love fades a little or even a lot. When a marriage gets to a point, mind you a marriage that the priest himself didnt feel they should have married to begin with, it is to the point where both husband and wife wish they never married to begin with; where wife tells husband to kill himself and a plethora of other hateful sad things and both feel they are stuck to be miserable and married for the rest of their lives. This is with counsling of their priest, family help, etc and it is consistently getting worse. They separated for a few months and tried again but it is getting worse and worse as the time goes by. In this case, the praying for love, for understanding, for each other, for better, for God, for more and it is continuing to be more and more toxic, and now both sides of the families are fighting. Both families have told them if they divorce, they are no longer part of the family. They lose everyone, the church, and their culture.
It is a good step for those who remarried who were innocent and also those who sinned who remarried but I don't know what conditions should be made for them to repent if they should leave their current spouse especially if they have no new children or their children maybe do not need them together but they should be available for their children but maybe should practice abstinence as a measure of repentance
But I think the ideal for no divorce is good atleast in some cases
I sympathise for the wife though who is threatened and maybe it should be a possibility for divorce and if they are a threat we are responsible not to act
It can happen though for a spouse to be angry or upset but not use physical violence and then regret it. The bible says not to let the sun go down on your anger. Therefore I think it can be forgiven. Also if the person means a lot to you if he apologises 2 days later him really wanting to apologise earlier but thinking it is not sincere and to take the issues seriously you should forgive. The bible even supports separation
It doesn't matter what the church now says but what the apostles have said. If they said a wife has no authority over her body but the husband does and she doesn't listen to the apostles she is not listening to the church and is a heathen
A heathen thinks he knows better than God.
Sex can prevent prostate cancer in old men and also if the complaint of a woman is that the man is not close to him well men are designed to be closer through sex and it helps them be closer. You chose the marriage so both better do what is commanded even if they don't want to. But I think it may be good if the husband is still not affectionate enough to stop having sex though it is not required but that should bother both and they should have sex and stop being hard on others who you don't know their heart. To not want Sex at all is to not love the other at all and that is wrong
God will not let harm happen to the married person unless there is another way to remove the things that cause cancer. I just thought God made it like that for married couples who are not as spiritual but now I don't think that is the case. I thought because sex is part of doing the commandments of God when married that to not do it would have problems but rather than hurt the innocent one it could hurt the guilty but innocent ones also get cancer for other reasons
Sometimes I may deserve to be censored for talking too much but sometimes you think I should but I should not. However as you do not know I accept to be warned and even have my posts deleted but I would like a backup of my posts for my wasted time
Dont worry about your posts, they are a bit unorganised and it is as if you are thinking while writing. You are sharing your thoughts and concerns with us and thats beautiful.
As for the content of your posts you raise some good questions and points. Ive spent a lot of time thinking about this too since almost everyone i know - from scandinavia and western culture - are divorced or have parents who are divorced.
My father and mother are divorced and my mother is remarried. Why? Because they didnt put God at the center of their marriage and they didnt seek to obey his will together. Again why? Probably because they both got a lacking upbringing that wasnt centered on God. Why? It seems to have been like that for generations. Another factor is that they grew up in the hippie era and in atheist culture, in books and on the radio and by people they got a lot of bad advice. Yet another factor is that my father is diagnosed with bi-polarity and my mother with adhd, so they didnt go through problems and misunderstandings in a calm and reasonable way, instead it was mostly anger - frustration - blame - fear - and also suppressed emotions. People knew they had problems, but not how much and they didnt get the help they needed. My father was sometimes violent and could fall into rage attacks over small silly issues such as the use of an electric oven instead of making a fire in the fireplace. I dont think he commited adultery, but i think he did in his heart because he has always been drawn to many women. As for my mom she didnt understand how to deal with the situation and she did many things wrong too and suffered a lot, a long time - months- she couldnt even smile because she was so tense and it was like her facial muskles were frozen. So they got divorce and we kids were actually relieved, we didnt see any solution, at the time we didnt believe in God and his power. And now my mother is married again to a christian man and they have some trouble and problems - that one marriage doesnt work usually means that one or both who are involved simply are not competent for marriage, marriage is a huge responsiblity and demands ability to change of both or at least one of them. Yet this marriage that she has now has actually brought many people to Christ because they have opened up their home and there are many volunteers coming to their farm who are learning so much and they are also learning a lot from them. They have also created a place for activites for christians and they are starting to become more understanding and respectfull towards each other. If they would break this new marriage it seems to me it would have many negative consequences for not only them but the people around them and for what they created together that many benefit from. On the other hand i can see many good consequences if they would depart from eachother, but not at all to the same extent. So i really dont know what is right in their particular case, but it needs a lot of prayer
I plan to comment on your post if I feel your post needs me to think about it more and reply to enlighten me about things because I may agree or disagree but I woke up with a headache and can only think abit. I have been thinking a lot in my dreams about the content of my dreams
which is why I woke up with a headache
as for the church, we allow divorce for adultery, desertion and change of religion.
usually only 1 person is allowed to remarry in the church. if you are both committing adultery, you can't usually remarry. but u can both repent and either stay together or live as single people.
i have been married more than 20 years. when u work together through the hard times and pray together, it is very beautiful and worthwhile :)
Criticism may not always be abuse but even some verbal abuse if it is not continual with new things is not grounds for divorce if the person genuinely is upset of your behaviour and not playing games with you as an abuser does
Separation is good for the constant criticiser who is not a abuser
Proverbs 21:9
Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop,
Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
You can not know if one hates therefore you should try to win their love. Even if they hate they may love later but you should seperate from a hateful person. It is not grounds for divorce. They have to cheat. But you can seperate if they are too difficult
to live with
sounds like they need a little time apart to heal.
time apart does not equal divorce.
may God give you and them wisdom
In that case God will compensate for the wronged person I am told by my dad.
But how will they stay in the church ? I would think to convert to Eastern Orthodox and solve my problem through that. Then my ex wife could think she did good to put me in another community. But she has to repent of that. I do agree with remarriage on repentance for sinners but if I didn't my conversion would not be sincere and I don't agree with other doctrines such as all their beliefs about prayer for the dead. Therefore they are forcing me to be without sacraments but I may just have it in the Eastern Orthodox though I wouldn't consider myself a real member strictly but there may be limits to me marrying or forbidden. I see no way to be in the church unless I can sin in their eyes by remarrying another copt in a Protestant church and hope them to give us absolution and let us back in the church. My intention is for the sacraments therefore if I am put out unlawfully they are to blame and I hope God will understand. But I have to be sure I was put out unlawfully.
Widowhood is praised but it is not required and sometimes maybe foolish.
When Jesus said we are one flesh it is not only for Christians because of the sacrament God joins all because a person has not sufficiently yet rejected God. He can sufficiently reject God without fully for how do you know whether you will save your husband Paul says and in the mean time destroy your own ?but if one becomes a Christian and the other can't live with them it means they were never in God or suitable for each other
People need to convert but I refer them to others who will pastor them and help their situation whether they must do so now or later.