Wives, Submit to your husbands.

edited June 2016 in Faith Issues
I'm just wondering what this really means. In a few senses, 

1. To what extent should that submission be? I mean I know another verse says "in everything" but can there really be no limitations? Like if one's husband tells her to do something that goes against God's word, or she feels God is calling her to a certain service and her husband tries to forbid her from following God's call, should she not submit to God over her husband? 

2. In the wedding, the commandment to the bride includes, "do not disagree with him." How literal and how strict is this? It this to be taken to the extent where the wife essentially loses her mind (not in the sense of going crazy, but in the sense of losing her ability to formulate her own thoughts and opinions)? Like is this to say that by being the wife, her opinions are automatically wrong, or just not worth as much as those of her husband, so she should conform to him in every situation? Or is it to say that if they have come to a point where they cannot reach an agreement, she should submit and back off for the sake of not arguing too much? 

3. another part of the wedding: "do not frown in his face" Is this to say that she should suppress her emotions in order to make her husband more comfortable? Like if she's had a bad day, is she supposed to hold that back so her husband thinks everything is fine, or should she share that emotion of upset with him? If it is referring to her being upset with him, shouldn't she also tell him when something about him or something he did has upset her? Or if he has hurt her somehow, should she not let him know seriously, and in this case if she smiles and/or laughs while confronting this couldn't it be taken as a joke, making her feelings not fully heard? 

4. This is the last one: should she still submit in a situation that becomes dangerous (ie. husband is being very abusive--in any sort of way--and there have been no signs of change for a long time) Like in a case like this, should she not get herself out of the situation rather than submit to it, especially when children are involved? (note I am not saying divorce, you can leave a situation for a while without actually going for divorce. please do not turn this question into a divorce debate) 

Thanks guys! God bless!   


  • I was told that I was the priest of the family.
    So I think I read somewhere it is not submission in the sense you think but obeying and the husband as priest lives his live in the wisdom of the bible and if he doesn't then she doesn't have to obey.
  • you can only understand the concept of submission in marriage if you understand the concept of Christians submitting to one another generally.

    the person is who is really humble, and always wants to help and never complains about doing the really boring tasks to help can easily submit.

    try submitting to God in your spiritual life and you will soon understand.
    so when God is saying, come on, wake up and pray, you say 'ok' and get up a bit earlier.
    when you have spare time, read the Bible.
    when you have spare energy, look for someone you can help, for example help your family, friends or neighbours by washing the plates before anyone asks, or tidy the house, or walk the neighbour's dog, or just generally put others first.
    ask your priest what he recommends you do in your spiritual life to get closer to God.

    always remember that other people know more than you, and don't be the first to give your opinion.

    do all these things, and then you will understand what is submission.
    it is not something that can be explained easily, but it can be learnt by copying other submissive, humble people :)
    (signed by not very humble married person who is trying to become more submissive)
  • Thank you for this mabsoota. You make me mabsoot reading your post :)

    The key thing is that as Christians we "submit to one another". (Ephesians 5:21)

    This is simply an act of humility. In the household, out of all the humble and submissive good Christians, one is chosen to take a leadership role, and that is the husband. That doesn't mean the husband has a right to be abusive or to disobey God. On the contrary, the prerequisite is that he is a man of God, and in this man you put your submissive trust and love towards. That is why we would advocate that you would get to know the man you desire to marry, if he is worth marrying, that is, if he is worth submitting to.
  • Thank you too Mabsoota

    The one where you say: always remember that other people know more than you, and don't be the first to give your opinion. Made me reproach myself when I read it. Then I thought, am I making one of my problems someone else's? I think I did and it has its connection with this  post.

       It seems to me that if females learn language quicker than males when young, that when they get married they use those skills in which a man cannot be able to express himself fully. If she becomes very emotional and talks over him or doesn't let him finish what he wants to say.
     This he could find frustrating which in turn take him out of the humble place he was in.

      Just thought, find time to pray together.

  • @Lovejoypeace_

    Submission is often looked at in a very degrading way in this modern era. Yet, in spirituality, there is nothing more powerful. Obedience is a huge HUGE aspect of our spiritual lives.

    In an ideal world, everyone has someone to submit too. The individual to the priest, the priest to to bishop/the pope, and the bishop/the pope to the synod and the synod to God by the Holy Spirit through the Word of God. The Word of God/the Son likewise submitted to the Father. What a chain I must say. It's phenomenal. So much more to say, but in any case, just a side note.

    All that to say, there is an incredible benefit to submission. Which brings us to your questions:

    1. Submission is incredibly beneficial. As long as your submission does not SEPERATE you from God (I.e. Sin), then you submit. So does not serving unwillingly count as a sin? No. Then submit.
    2. Express yourself. Communication is key in marriage. Do not bottle things up. But in case of disagreement, submit (as much as you can-always easier said than done). Do all in submission, as long as you are not sinning. Though of it bothers you, communicate.
    3. Do not suppress your emotions. But men have (unjustifiably) crazy/weird egos. Though a frown may be harmless, if he senses disrespect, then it may be unhealthy for your marriage over a long period of time and several repetitions. Clearly communicate, and keep the spirit of love, respect and obedience at all times. Do all your efforts to preserve that. Communication will not hinder that, it will in fact make it easier.
    4. This is a very difficult scenario. Submit as much as you can all in your submission to your father of confession. Should he absolve you because it is unsafe for you, then perfect, you have been freed of your submission to your husband through submission to your father of confession.
    In the end, the goal is that 'it is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me'. My will is gone, all I want is the will of the Lord, which is perfect and full and will provide me with more than I could ever imagine. So I must deny my will at all times and lives in full submission so that my submission may really just be a submission to God himself (through the chain of submission listed above) :)

    On the ideal world, the husband is also submitting. The husband is to die for his wife like Christ died for the church. If you are unhappy, a loving husband will be sure to not leave you submitting to something that saddens you. He will find a middle way, all through his submission to his Father of Confession & God. So do not be afraid of communicating. It is important in a marriage so that both the husband and the spouse grow together in submission to each other through Christ.

    God Bless us all with a true spirit of love & submission.
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